Little Caesar’s Be Damned: SATANIC PANIC Serves Up Its Own Brand of Pizza Pizza

Satanic Panic – or Panic, as Walmart likes to call it – wasn’t at all what I initially expected. As a child of the 80s, the words invoked something harkening to that era. Instead, we have a wholly new and contemporary story that is original and simply used the phrase as a playful title that refers to a Satanic cult at the center of the film. With a story by friend of the site Ted Geoghegan and a screenplay from horror novelist Grady Hendrix, the film marks director Chelsea Stardust’s feature length debut year, in which this and her installment of Hulu’s Into the Dark series both premiered.

A pizza delivery girl at the end of her financial rope has to fight for her life – and her tips – when her last order of the night turns out to be high society Satanists in need of a virgin sacrifice.

As a former pizza delivery guy, I understand the plight of lead pizza delivery gal Sam (Hayley Griffith). Well, I mean… I never had quite the night she had in this one, but I had my share of weirdos and poor tippers, for sure. The insanity that ensues at one of Sam’s stops leads to events that change her life forever. The story is fun, over-the-top, bloody, and full of laughs. Fans of Grady’s writing will definitely feels his sense of humor oozing through… but it’s the cast that really brings this one to life.

With a fantastic cast that boasts genre faves like AJ Bowen, Jeff Daniel Phillips, and Arden Myrin, as well as superstar MILF Rebecca Romijn, it’s the young Ruby Modine and the hilarious Jerry O’Connell that really steal the show alongside Griffith. O’Connell doesn’t have a ton of screen time, but he surely makes the most of it. Modine, on the other hand, gets to play a larger role in the story. She and Griffith both deserves a lot of credit for really carrying the weight of the film in their actions and emotions. Of course, Romijn is a great villain and Myrin is a great henchmen type, so choosing just 1 or 2 standouts would be a foolhardy task.

The important takeaway here is that this is a fantastically fun horror-comedy that is sure to entertain genre fans far and wide. Out now on home video and VOD, this is a definitely recommend for anyone who like their horror in the raucous and fun varieties.

thepaintedman
Justin has been running websites since his first Geocities site in 1994, but only did he ever start covering anything of substance years later. After he stopped regularly running local concerts in Northern NJ and the greater Philly area, he knew he needed to step up his writing game if he expected to continue to get free music to listen to. He writes regularly here, at Cinapse, and at Rock on Philly... as well as on occasion at Cinepunx. He previously wrote for several other sites, but he forgets some of them and others no longer exist. He likes music, film, the Philadelphia Eagles, talking about Criminal Justice, reading Intelligence Report, and his family... not in that order. His beautiful wife is far more talented than he is and his kids far more adorable... and crazy.
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