Lines from 2016 Films That Resulted in My Baffling Laughter

x-men apocalypse

“Learrrrninnnng.” – Apocalypse from X-Men: Apocalypse, with his hand pressed against a tube-television, implying he’s learning the history of mankind via a singular Egyptian television station’s current programming. One hopes he got lucky enough for an anchor on that station to reference the internet so that he learns of its existence and make some real progress.


This attempt at humor from Independence Day: Resurgence that turns into the weirdest display of masculinity in a movie this year:

Thor’s little brother, excitedly: “Did you pee?”

The Honorable Jeff Golblum, surprised: “Yeah, I think I did.”

Thor’s little brother, proudly and directly into the camera, with a smirk: “Yeah. Me too.”

Karate Kill

“Your brother has a black belt in Cirque du Soleil too!?” – Vendenski, the white, American villain of Karate Kill (this year’s fantastic Japanese actioner that you should seek out and see immediately) in response to Kenji, the film’s Japanese lead, running up the wall of a moving 18-wheeler.


“Look – I need to take it to Aruba.” – Tommy, the friend-zoned millennial hacker from Nerve that grows jealous of Li’l Franco’s relationship with Julia Robert’s niece and has to call his even smarter hacker friends and ask them for a passcode to log into (I swear to god this happens in this movie) and get some dirt on Lil Franco who is somehow ungoogleable without the help of the Dark Web (at


“It’s a zombie-sation! Nerves go malfunction!” – The lyrics to the theme song from Miruthan, a Bollywood zombie movie that came out this year, which plays during the epic finale featuring the lead running across the heads of a horde of zombies and then fighting them with water and a cartoonishly oversized hammer.

Garrett Smith
Resident Funny Man / Film Geek
Garrett Smith is a Philadelphia based comedian and podcaster surviving on frozen pizza and macaroni and cheese. Follow him on Twitter and Letterboxd to see if he ever develops lactose intolerance, and check out his milky smooth voice on his podcast, I Like To Movie Movie.
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One Reply to “Lines from 2016 Films That Resulted in My Baffling Laughter”

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    I also loved that move from the Xmen movie – though I hoped he got a good dose of BBC and Cartoon Network. Good picks for movie lines.

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