Growing up, Drop Dead Fred, was one of my favorite movies. I can still quote many of the lines today. The words “Hello Snotface” will always make me giggle. The fascination of imaginary friends coming to life was undeniable, even if it still meant only one person could see them. Was I too young to watch this? Probably, but it is a movie that will not be forgotten. Ate de Jong gave me pivotal memories from that movie forever.

With that being said, I was hoping that Deadly Virtues: Love. Honor. Obey. would be something that I would love. First, because it was a horror movie which is one of my favorite genres. Secondly, because seeing it was directed by Ate do Jong triggered memories of a zany movie from my childhood, and lastly the mix of those two aspects. After having that dwell a little bit, it made me fairly hesitant when I put it altogether. How would this work out? Would it work out?

Unfortunately, it didn’t. A home invasion, set in the suburbs, without any motive to the forced entry. A man (Edward Akrout) who we have no background information about, breaks into a random home “because why not”. Slithering through the house he finds the married couple having sex their bedroom, and from there the torture begins. Bound by elaborate knots, the husband (Matt Barber) is forced to stay in the tub while the wife (Megan Maczko) has to play Susie Homemaker to the criminal for the weekend.

As the movie progresses, you have to figure out whose side you are on. Secrets are revealed and your trust for characters is tested. This becomes an uncomfortable viewing experience as it feels the director wants you to sympathize with the bad guy. Nothing really adds up and you are left with unanswered questions. This wants to be an erotic thriller but barely crosses those boundaries.

A crisp picture and decent performances couldn’t bring much of his to life. There truly never is a dull moment, but through eye rolling scenarios, Deadly Virtues breaks all the vows and misses the mark.

Rachael Hauschild
Resident Animal Doctor / Scream Queen
Rachael was born and raised outside of Philadelphia and has lived there her whole life until she high tailed it to the West Coast to live with her boyfriend in Reno, Nevada. Movies took over her life after graduating from college. Horror, indies, and classic Hollywood are her favorite genres. If she's not watching a movie, she's most likely traveling (and wearing Philadelphia Eagles attire to piss people off), attending a film festival somewhere in the US, watching sports, taking pictures of her dog, or doing her two jobs.
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