I first heard of Witch Taint because of a co-worker when I was a gallery guard at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Cleveland artist Joe Tait, was one of my favorite guards and his Instagram was full of amazing art he creates. There was often a drawing associated with Witch Taint in the mix, and honestly my interest was peaked. From there I connected dots leading me to comedian Dave Hill’s Instagram and the rest is history. Needless to say Witch Taint is funny, wonderfully crafted black metal from Indiana by the way of Ohio and as the bio suggests for obvious reasons, Norway. This is a band that is as hilarious as they are talented, pulling off the black metal sound like pros broken up with perfect comedic skits between songs.
The tracks are full of black metal cliches, like a much darker Spinal Tap and even a little Turbonegro like humor thrown in. The 17 tracks of metal madness and sketch comedy takes you through the journey of Lance the King of Black Metal and Matthias Backwards. The album follows these two metal heroes as they navigate conflicts such as, clearing genre confusion on “The Death of Death Metal”. They even face the reality of growing older and having to balance adult life with being brutal on “Changes” (a little less Satan). The track, “Sons of Satan” is what you would guess, about their being the offspring of Lucifer, in which they discuss with the dark lord at the end due to Satan’s desire to clear up the fact that he never actually impregnated either of their mothers. My favorite track is the unbelievably soulful “Ready 4 Luv”, which sounds like if you mixed a Flight Of The Concords smooth ballad with Mayhem. It’s fucking comedy gold.
The album is full of brutality, vulgarity, wit, charm, and honestly everything that is needed right as we face these times of trouble. If you are looking for something that is only meant to spread brutally happy vibes through the outrageous worship of Satan, this is it. Buy this, stream it, give it to your mom, and your youth pastor. If Satan is real, even he will get a kick out of this.