All Hail Exhumed Films: Garrett Goes to Ex-Fest VII
My favorite day of the year has come and gone in another 12-hour whirlwind of movies presented by Exhumed Films. Ex-Fest VII, Exhumed Films annual exploitation marathon, was even better than last year’s, my first time at the event, and easily the best of the 4 or 5 marathons of theirs I’ve seen since. The…
Splatter Matters: TWO THOUSAND MANIACS! is Finally the Crowd Pleaser Garrett Was Expecting
Previously on Splatter Matters: I wasn’t too keen on Blood Feast and its lack of interesting characters and story, but Scum of the Earth worked surprisingly well despite my moral objections to its premise (and perhaps even its existence). I find myself wondering what kind of mad man sets out to make movies specifically to…
BUFF 2017: To VOID or Not to VOID, That is the Question!
Essentially a remix of various John Carpenter movies, including Assault on Precinct 13, The Thing, and Prince of Darkness, The Void is a bat-shit, wild ride that I mostly enjoyed. Some remarkable practical effects, memorable visuals, and more mysterious plot threads than the entirety of Twin Peaks, this has everything my little movie-loving heart desires.…
Splatter Matters: Garrett and Herschel Get Rough with SCUM OF THE EARTH
Previously on Splatter Matters: I began my foray into the world of Herschel Gordon Lewis via The HGL Feast box set from Arrow Films, starting with Blood Feast, his first Splatter film, and found it rather boring and amateurish despite a few noteworthy flourishes. I remain hopeful that there are good things to come as…
Splatter Matters: Garrett’s Journey Begins with BLOOD FEAST
And so it begins – my first foray into the world of Herschel Gordon Lewis’s splatter films. Arrow Films just released an incredible box set of 14 of the “Godfather of Gore’s” best splatter movies, a genre which he is considered to have created with the release of Blood Feast. Arrow was kind enough to…
Friday Fight Argues over Refn’s THE NEON DEMON
How do you talk about a movie that made your Top 10 of the year by sheer force? The Neon Demon was undoubtedly one of the best movie going experiences I had in 2016, sucking me into its lush world with a dense saturation of neon and lulling me into a trance-like state with one…
Lines from 2016 Films That Resulted in My Baffling Laughter
“Learrrrninnnng.” – Apocalypse from X-Men: Apocalypse, with his hand pressed against a tube-television, implying he’s learning the history of mankind via a singular Egyptian television station’s current programming. One hopes he got lucky enough for an anchor on that station to reference the internet so that he learns of its existence and make some real…
HE-MAN Meets FERNGULLY at Ithaca Fantastik Fest
Nova Seed is exactly the kind of movie that makes film festivals like Ithaca Fantastik so worthwhile. Essentially He-Man meets FernGully, drawn in the style of an 11-year-old’s math notebook doodles, Nova Seed is a Saturday morning adventure cartoon about environmentalism. With a great sense of visual storytelling, propelled by a fun, 80’s-style original score,…
Ithaca Fantastik’s Bollywood Zombie Extravaganza
When I saw this in Ithaca Fantastik’s programming, I thought “Bollywood zombie movie – I know exactly what that’s going to be.” I’m telling you now, there’s no way to know what you’re getting into with this – it’s so many movies wrapped into one it’s insane. And while it was a bit too childishly…
31 Days, Day 22: Look! It’s Godzilla! He’s Back!
[Editor’s Note: Listen to Garrett and his cohost, Dan Scully, discuss Shin Godzilla on their podcast, I Like To Movie Movie.] A Kaiju version of In The Loop – something I never thought I’d see nor did I know I would enjoy so much. Shin Godzilla feels like a proper, modern take on the monster…
31 Days, Day 21: Dr. Caligari’s Neighborhood
[Editor’s Note: This column began this month but will continue in some form after our 31 Days celebration is over, though the exacts are be ironed out. Essentially, this is where we take a movie on Netflix, watch it, and argue or agree about what we think. I kinda stole the idea from Cinapse’s Two…
31 Days, Day 18: In Defense of JASON X
“This sucks on so many levels.” Where do you go after the 9th chapter of a franchise, the second chapter to be named the “Final” chapter in said franchise, completely undermines that franchise by attempting to explain what should have remained inexplainable? Especially after sending your main character to Hell (presumably – this never actually…
31 Days, Day 11: Garrett Writes a PUFF Piece, a Festival Wrap Up
This past weekend marked the very first Philadelphia Unnamed Film Festival and I had the privilege of getting to see every show for the site. The festival was organized and directed by Madeleine Koestner and Alex Gardner who clearly put a lot of care into curating the programming, as I walked away with a few…
31 Days, Day 10: PUFF 16’s Best of the Fest… Part Deux
The closing film of PUFF, and with good reason. “Your brother has a black belt in Cirque du Soleil too!?” I may have spoken too soon when dubbing We Go On the best of the fest a few hours ago. I was admittedly nodding in and out of Karate Kill as it screened last night,…
31 Days, Day 10: PUFF 16’s Best of the Fest… Part One
Screened at PUFF along with another very cool short film called Mindless, which as far as I can tell has no web presence other than a handful of reviews and this IMDb page, which is a shame because it’s quite good. We Go On is the highlight of the feature films at PUFF this year…
31 Days, Day 9: Werewolves Are Played Out… So PUFF 16’s Got Werefrogs
Screened at PUFF with this great short called MUTE, which you can watch the trailer for right here. It’s hard to be overly critical about Bad Blood, as it’s a pretty successful schlocky monster movie. Your mileage here will vary depending on how on board your are for such a thing. For me, the characters…
31 Days, Day 9: SOMETHING STRANGE is Going on at PUFF 16
Screened at PUFF alongside the animated short It’s Not About Horses on Mars, which is about horses on Mars, and can be watched right now, right here. I stopped counting somewhere after 7 rapes, at least 4 of which were meant to make me laugh. I get what this movie is trying to do and…
31 Days, Day 8: An EGOMANIAC is on the Loose at PUFF 16
Screened at PUFF along with the (really excellent) animated short Sonder During End Times, which you can watch right here. I really enjoyed Egomaniac – it’s a great premise with an excellent cast made on a microbudget – exactly the kind of thing you go to a film festival like this for. The form here…
31 Days, Day 8: PUFF 16’s Whodunnit Slasher, DEAD BODY
Screened at along with the short film Fanny the Frugal Foodie, which you can watch right here. On paper, Dead Body should be killer (no pun!). It’s billed as Friday the 13th meets Clue! – a whoddunnit-murder-mystery-camp-slasher – this should be a no brainer. And unfortunately, it sort of is (pun!). The cast here is…
31 Days, Day 7: PUFF 16 Opens with Some SMALL TALK
Paired with a screening of CRSHN ON U (a 2-minute short described as a “a stylish EDM nightmare date” that you can watch right here) Small Talk marked the opening of the very first Philadelphia Unnamed Film Festival, or PUFF. Small Talk is a decent little genre short in which a phone sex operator starts…
31 Days, Day 3: The (BLAIR) WITCH’s Brew
[Editor’s Note: Garrett and his PIC Dan Scully talked about the Blair Witch saga on their podcast recently, so after you read go listen to the awesome and comprehensive discussion.] “What just happened?” should be the tagline to every entry in the Blair Witch series. What began as an incredible experiment in “experiential” filmmaking and…
Call of Dudi: The AMERICAN NINJA Saga, Parts 1 and 2
When I sat down to American Ninja, or as I’m going to refer to it, Call of Dudi, I had no idea I’d be treated to a Canon film. They’re one of those oddball production houses that ultimately ended up releasing a bunch of cheap, weird movies, most of which are at least fun, passionately…
When Tomatoes Kill: The Clooney Connection
Arrow Films just put out a Blu-ray for what is perhaps a cult classic? I don’t really know. You can read my review of the first one on Letterboxd, which I thought was decent fun with a few good jokes, but mostly felt pretty frivolous. Here, they improve on their formula in big ways but…
It’s a Bit Underwhelming in THE MIND’S EYE
I’m going to give this movie a lot of credit for the things it does well, but the most significant thing I got out of this was a clearer understanding of the difference between cheesy and hacky. This should be my kind of movie – a riff on Scanners with more of a focus on…
Italian Pulp Horror Comes to Philly for One Night Only Event
Last month I treated myself to another edition of what has become one of my favorite regular events in Philadelphia – an