Garrett Smith
Resident Funny Man / Film Geek
Garrett Smith is a Philadelphia based comedian and podcaster surviving on frozen pizza and macaroni and cheese. Follow him on Twitter and Letterboxd to see if he ever develops lactose intolerance, and check out his milky smooth voice on his podcast, I Like To Movie Movie.
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PUFF 2017: Day 4 Focuses on the Local and the Exceptionally Weird (31 Days, Day 2)

[Editor’s Note: Garrett’s PUFF Day 4 and Best of the Fest posts (today and tomorrow) are also running as part of out 31 Days of Halloween, because there is sufficient Halloweenyness in PUFF to genuinely make it appropriate. Thanks to the folks from PUFF for letting us participate in said Halloweenyness for a second straight…

Splatter Matters: TWO THOUSAND MANIACS! is Finally the Crowd Pleaser Garrett Was Expecting

Previously on Splatter Matters: I wasn’t too keen on Blood Feast and its lack of interesting characters and story, but Scum of the Earth worked surprisingly well despite my moral objections to its premise (and perhaps even its existence). I find myself wondering what kind of mad man sets out to make movies specifically to…

BUFF 2017: To VOID or Not to VOID, That is the Question!

Essentially a remix of various John Carpenter movies, including Assault on Precinct 13, The Thing, and Prince of Darkness, The Void is a bat-shit, wild ride that I mostly enjoyed. Some remarkable practical effects, memorable visuals, and more mysterious plot threads than the entirety of Twin Peaks, this has everything my little movie-loving heart desires.…

Splatter Matters: Garrett and Herschel Get Rough with SCUM OF THE EARTH

Previously on Splatter Matters: I began my foray into the world of Herschel Gordon Lewis via The HGL Feast box set from Arrow Films, starting with Blood Feast, his first Splatter film, and found it rather boring and amateurish despite a few noteworthy flourishes. I remain hopeful that there are good things to come as…

Lines from 2016 Films That Resulted in My Baffling Laughter

“Learrrrninnnng.” – Apocalypse from X-Men: Apocalypse, with his hand pressed against a tube-television, implying he’s learning the history of mankind via a singular Egyptian television station’s current programming. One hopes he got lucky enough for an anchor on that station to reference the internet so that he learns of its existence and make some real…

HE-MAN Meets FERNGULLY at Ithaca Fantastik Fest

Nova Seed is exactly the kind of movie that makes film festivals like Ithaca Fantastik so worthwhile. Essentially He-Man meets FernGully, drawn in the style of an 11-year-old’s math notebook doodles, Nova Seed is a Saturday morning adventure cartoon about environmentalism. With a great sense of visual storytelling, propelled by a fun, 80’s-style original score,…

31 Days, Day 21: Dr. Caligari’s Neighborhood

[Editor’s Note: This column began this month but will continue in some form after our 31 Days celebration is over, though the exacts are be ironed out. Essentially, this is where we take a movie on Netflix, watch it, and argue or agree about what we think. I kinda stole the idea from Cinapse’s Two…

31 Days, Day 18: In Defense of JASON X

“This sucks on so many levels.” Where do you go after the 9th chapter of a franchise, the second chapter to be named the “Final” chapter in said franchise, completely undermines that franchise by attempting to explain what should have remained inexplainable? Especially after sending your main character to Hell (presumably – this never actually…

31 Days, Day 11: Garrett Writes a PUFF Piece, a Festival Wrap Up

This past weekend marked the very first Philadelphia Unnamed Film Festival and I had the privilege of getting to see every show for the site. The festival was organized and directed by Madeleine Koestner and Alex Gardner who clearly put a lot of care into curating the programming, as I walked away with a few…

31 Days, Day 9: Werewolves Are Played Out… So PUFF 16’s Got Werefrogs

Screened at PUFF with this great short called MUTE, which you can watch the trailer for right here. It’s hard to be overly critical about Bad Blood, as it’s a pretty successful schlocky monster movie. Your mileage here will vary depending on how on board your are for such a thing. For me, the characters…